84 From ’84: Hardbodies

Three middle aged guys rent a beach house to hopefully score with young, single women. Not having what it takes, the men hire a sexy young surfer, Scotty, to teach them some game and help them meet girls.

Cast:

• Grant Cramer as Scotty Palmer
• Teal Roberts as Kristi
• Courtney Gains as ‘Rag’
• Gary Wood as Hunter
• Darcy DeMoss as Dede
• Cindy Silver as Kimberly
• Sorrells Pickard as Ashby

1984 memories

If you’ve been following along you know where I saw this movie. That’s right HBO. Maybe movies like this are the reason we never had HBO in the house. That and the $10/month extra charge.

Looking at the inflation calculator $10 in 1984 is like $30 today. There is no way I’d pay $30 for HBO today.

I liked this movie for all the right reasons. I mean the cover alone is glorious. I’m guess it won’t hold up today, or will it?

Let’s find out.

40th Anniversary Re-watch

Watching this movie I could smell the ocean and the Hawaiian Tropic.

Another teen sex comedy from the 80s. Only there aren’t any teens. The main characters are three middle aged men looking for love on the beach. Their mentor is a 20-something beach bum who knows all the hot girls and all the pick-up lines.

The plot is pretty thin in this one. In fact I gave it to you, three middle aged guys are looking for love on the beach. And they want 20-something women, not women their own age. They hire Scotty to teach them how to pick up women.

That’s it. The main driver of the movie is girls in bikinis and girls out of bikinis. One thing Hardbodies isn’t missing is beautiful women. From the main actress to the extras all the women are stunning. It’s like the casting director raided the Playboy mansion. And maybe he did, more on that in a minute.

Grant Cramer was great as the beach bum. He’d go on to play Mike in Killer Klowns from Outer Space. He’s still working today as a producer and actor. Most recently with Nicolas Cage in Willy’s Wonderland.

Roger Corman helped fund the movie, which might explain all the T&A. Hardbodies was originally slated for the Playboy Channel. Playboy thought it was too soft and passed on the movie. Producer Jeff Begun shopped it around Columbia Pictures picked it up.

Favorite Line:

Hardbodies, you know, little foxes down on the beach.

Hardbodies was panned by the critics and it’s mostly deserved. As sex comedies go it’s not the best but it’s not the worst. It’s right down the middle. There are some funny moments throughout the movie. And I enjoyed the story arc of Scotty and Kristi.

Hardbodies was released on 04 May 1984. It grabbed $7.1 million on a $1 million budget. Not bad for a movie most people claim to hate.

Did you watch Hardbodies? If so let me know your thoughts in the comments below or on X(Twitter). The main Geekster channel is @TRNSocial and I’m @MileHighSamurai You can also find me on Bluesky @MileHighSamurai

5/10 stars

Check out the entire 84 From ’84 movie series