84 From ’84: The Lost Empire

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The Lost Empire

The Lost Empire Poster

Seeking revenge, officer Angel Wolfe, her Native American friend Whitestar, and outlaw Heather infiltrate a fortified island where an undead wizard and his evil cult force captured women to take part in gladiatorial tournaments.

Cast:

  • Melanie Vincz as Angel Wolfe
  • Raven De La Croix as Whitestar
  • Angela Aames as Heather McClure
  • Paul Coufos as Rick Stanton
  • Robert Tessier as Koro
  • Angus Scrimm as Dr. Sin Do/Lee Chuck

1984 viewing

I never saw this in the theater. It was a rental sometime on 1985. I couldn’t rent it, my friend’s parents did.

Once they went to bed we popped it in the VCR to watch. The cover had everything to do with our decision.

I loved Sword and Sorcery movies (still do) and according to the cover this movie fits the bill. Only it doesn’t really.

Young me loved this movie for all the obvious reasons. Will old me still love it?

40th Anniversary Re-watch

This movie starts out great…a tight shoot of cleavage, followed by ninjas attacking a jewelry store with yo-yo ninja stars. What?

Next we get a really bad exchange between a police captain and his underling about a hostage situation inside a school. While they argue a mysterious cop stands nearby with his motorcycle helmet on.

Then the motorcycle cop rides into the school and beats the bad guys. Then he removes his helmet to revel it’s not a man at all. The cop is actually a beautiful blonde woman, Angel Wolf.

Angel is informed her brother was injured during the ninja attack and may not make it. She goes to the hospital with her boyfriend Rick and her brother gives her one of the ninja stars from the attack.

Rick recognizes the weapon and tells her about the legend of Lee Chuck, a man who made a deal with the devil for immortality. Also, great call-out to Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris. She is later informed her brother died and she sets out to avenge his death.

Angel’s learns the killer, Sin Do is recruiting women for a ninja terrorist army but only accepts them in groups of three. What? Why? Angel’s first stop is to an Indian reservation to ask her friend Whitestar to join her. Whitestar is a scantily clad women who is an accomplished warrior and agrees to help.

The two then head to prison to get a third woman, Heather who is also an accomplished fighter. The woman’s prison-yard fight scene is fantastic!

The Lost Empire Warrior Women

It appears this prison is underfunded as the women barely have any clothes to wear. And one of them keeps removing clothes during the fight for no apparent reason. Well, there’s one reason…more skin.

The prison yard is bone dry, except for one mud pit near the women fighting. Once the women are on the ground they skillfully roll into the mud pit to continue the fight. It’s glorious.

Once the fight ends Angel promises an early parole for Heather an early parole if she joins their quest. Heather agrees and the trio is set.

The three make their way to the fortress of Golgatha on Sim Do island where they must remove their clothes and wear Sin Do outfits. Which, of course, are tiny and revealing.

Angus Scrimm plays Dr. Sin Do and he is great. I first saw him in Phantasm and his character freaked me out.

In their chain and leather bikinis the three women prove a formidable fighting force and take out Sin Do’s henchmen and Sin Do. Who isn’t what he appears.

As cheesy and gratuitous as this movie is, I enjoyed it. The acting is a bit stiff, the fight scenes are a little goofy and yet it all works. Maybe the bikini bottoms and cleavage helped… I think the casting director went to the Playboy mansion for the extras and main cast. Although none of the main cast members appeared in Playboy.

Favorite Line:

You gonna come to school punk, you better learn to count

If this movie was originally called The Cleavage Cop I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s pure cheesecake from start to finish. The movie would make Roger Corman proud and it did. Corman saw the movie and offered writer/producer/director Jim Wynorski a job to work on movies together.

Overall this movie isn’t great. The concept is great, the writing is good even if the acting was a bit rough. If you like Roger Corman movies, you’ll like The Lost Empire. There are other movies from 1984 to have on your list though.

Did you watch The Lost Empire? If so let me know your thoughts in the comments below or on X(Twitter). The main Geekster channel is @TRNSocial and I’m @MileHighSamurai You can also find me on Bluesky @MileHighSamurai

5/10 stars

5 Stars

Check out the entire 84 From ’84 movie series

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About Pitfall Gary 178 Articles
Just your average Gen X'er. Born in the 70s and raised in the Decade of Decadence! I rode my bike without a helmet and was home when the street lights came on. I love to reminisce about the good ol' days; Movies, TV, music, if it happened in my childhood I'll share it with you.

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